December 19

NT -- Revelation 10:1-11
This whole little episode of the man-killing locusts (from yesterday), the 4 angels loosed from the Euphrates (you remember in Genesis when Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden angels were placed at the entrance to guard against), and the plagues, death and destruction is a setup for the end of the earth as we know it. Since the non-believers are not going to be among us, God has to have some way to get rid of them, all the while giving them a chance to repent. I assume, maybe incorrectly since the text does not say, that some of them did. But the ones that continue with their evil ways will not make it and the end is gruesome.
Today's scripture has a super special angel coming down with a little scroll. This scroll is inspiring John to speak against the evil ones in his world, and the Lord knows that it will end badly for John (hence the sour stomach).

Reading Revelation this way in little bitty chunks has made me ponder just how I feel about non-believers.
It would be so much easier for me if the non-believers in my life were also evil but since they aren't, it is so very much more complicated for me. Perhaps for you, this question is settled. I know that it is for some and they believe that if you DON'T believe, you won't be saved. I, on the other hand, have no idea. Nor do I think I am especially called to yap constantly about giving yourself to Jesus so that you won't suffer the fate of the non-believers in Revelation. Basically, I have no idea what on earth this set of scripture is supposed to mean for me, much less those who don't believe. And I do think the whole cop-out of 'it is not up to me' is just that.

I have been really sad today about all the upset over the little children who have died. All over my FaceBook and in forwarded emails, it is everywhere. Don wants to talk about my stance on assault weapons (I have none). I just don't hardly know where to put all my emotions.
And for me, that is why this section of Revelation is unsettling. I just don't know HOW to feel about non-believers. I really don't. And I don't want them to die any more than I want sweet little children and steadfast teachers to die.
And the fact that this is all mixed up with Christmas, with exams, with Matthew home from school is even worse. I should be happy. I should be making cookies, making fun plans, doing wonderful things for those in need and instead, what I feel is sad.
There is no joy in this girl. And for that, I am even sadder.